Writing Emotions

My emotions around writing confuse me, and I suspect I'm not alone.

I want to write, I really do, and when I've done my session each day I feel great, but before I begin I dread it - a bit like the feeling I used to have with homework, except no one is making me do it but myself.

This week I have been writing quite merrily for just over an hour each day - that's standard for me when working on a first draft. And it's true that the more often I write the easier it is to return to the desk. Any sort of time gaps between sessions can allow those feelings of dread to grow.

And what is it exactly that I dread? It must be that the ideas will run out - I will be left staring at the page with nothing to say and no idea of where I am going. And why is this thought so terrifying? Because if I didn't have characters and stories, life for me would be very flat and grey. I don't know why but the fictional world is more colourful to me than the world I live in. I think it's because in a story I can get into everyone's heads - which I find fascinating whereas in my world the only head I live in is my own.

I haven't written today. The fear got too much for me, and I have the very valid excuse of having a cold. But I will tomorrow, or if not then, Tuesday. I always come back to writing, like a moth to the light, something pulls me back to the story. It's the only way forward ...

September Treats.

There is a lot going on in Dublin's writing world this September. Last weekend I lounged about a lecture hall in Trinity listening to Fiachra Sheridan, Chris Binchy, Patricia Scanlon and Sheila O'Flannagan (amongst others) talking at the Books 2009 festival. It was lovely to be there - I could almost pretend I was a student once again, except these days no acholol consumption is allowed on the grass outside the Pavillion Bar. It doesn't seem fair. I spent so many happy Friday afternoons swiling pints of Budweiser for a pound a pint (yes, I know I that makes me sound ancient) but now students are shooed off the grass with their cans. It seems a pity, especially as it was a perfect sunny day, exactly like those May afternoons when you're supposed to be studying and absolutely can't. Ah well, them were the days!

This week my home town, Skerries, is having its own Arts Festival - Sound Waves. It's been running for six years and this year they asked me to teaching Creative writing in the local primary schools. It was quite a task. I met thirteen classes in a week! But we managed to get a lot done and last night I read their stories aloud at the opening. They went down very well and when walking around town today people came up to say how much they enjoyed listening to the stories. It made me feel part of the community, which makes a nice change as most of the time I'm locked away with me old laptop.

Another writing treat this month is the Reader and Writers' day run by Fingal County Libraries. It takes place in Blanchardstown library next Saturday. There will also be workshops in other Fingal libraries over the next couple of weeks. They're free so do check them out. Tax payers get your money's worth!
And finally on the writing front - all is going well. I'm on a roll, as they say ( of course having said that it will most probably stop) however long may it last. There is nothing better than writing - it beats reading any day!